What’s happening? It may be arbitrary to decide on just one thing that is happening today, as so much is constantly going on, but predominantly one thing which connects all of us - the multimedia-the net, tv, films, books and any other form of expression of another, that one can now savour. And also unburden our own thoughts on them. This shared super- mind activity, definitely helps us become more human. If man, in the days gone by, was limited to learning from the happenings of his village, its surrounding towns and bits of what came in through the print, today on a single average day, you can spend a few minutes on any device and learn about at least ten different right and wrong decisions someone has taken.

This daily increase of the database of our collective memory, sometimes influencing our daily decisions, sometimes changing the flow of mind to new ideas, is like a wave that seems to carry us along, albeit with a sense of individuality, to becoming a wholer person. It feels in gaps in our mind, and answers what-if questions. What if, I had done this, instead of that.

This is what is happening. The entire humanity appears to be caught in periodic waves of thought and mostly calming, improving thoughts meant to make it all seem better. So many wonderful ideas and so much more humanity. Suddenly one can see that almost everyone you know is trying hard to make some sense of the chaos that he feels within himself, to control his internal fears and to feel  a sense of the sublime.

When I was younger, I was always glad that I was born in a modern era and not in one where women- kind were a suppressed and oppressed lot. As time passed, I felt these were in many ways tough times to be born in, with so much pressure on the individual to achieve, to leave a mark behind. Two centuries ago, at my age -40 tish, Indians embarked on vanaprastha- while I feel the onset of a mid-life-crisis- wherein no accomplishment has been enough and ‘there is so much more to do’. Today as I open my mind to all the thought waves that pass in a day’s life on the net, newspapers and  on  line readings, I realise I have been chasing all the wrong goals, most of life, except a brief period in childhood when becoming a good person seemed important.

Today, turning the wheels of my life back to those early days of simplicity, I focus on how whatever that is happening, around me, can help me become better, take wiser decisions, healthy attitudes and hope- reviving thoughts on a daily basis. I realise that every time am feeling really good- am actually deluding myself into a temporary state of drug induced joy, albeit the drug itself is just a bunch of self-reinforcing thoughts and each time I feel low, the opposite occurs- a hit of self-deprecating thoughts. Occillating between these two extremes,  not realising that if I went to the one extreme of happiness on this pendulum, I have to swing to the other logical extreme. That  its time to shift the focus from trying to make myself happy to trying to do the right thing, think the right thought, take the right approach..look for what is right. The word ‘right’ here could easily be replaced by truth. But truth as famously said by Jiddu Krishnamurthy is a ‘pathless land’. Which means its a territory-a region and it has many many vistas, each being part of its landscape. One has to keep walking it through looking for what is right.  And this search is certainly helped by knowing as many stories that you can gather.

Whats’s happening is certainly helping me.

What do I know....

When we first found out our son had a genetically inherited disorder, with a malfunctioning gene and some absent proteins causing havoc to his rational mind, we were both relieved and apprehensive. Relieved that at least we had a cause for all that we saw happening with our child- mood swings, inability to learn even basics but apprehensive that how are we going to face the long years ahead. When he was three, we were advised-‘focus only on toilet training, that is fundamental’, which we did and after about 6 years later , we achieved a toilet trained, self cleaning young kid. Meanwhile we saw that the mood swings worsened to temper tantrums, self injurious behaviour and aggression. This lead to another attempt to medicate and correct the issue and to some extent the medications have helped in the reduction of these issues.

The fundamental problems of inability to learn still remains unabated and along with that now we face the new problems of frustration with himself -an inability to make friends, fit in and feel satisfied. Such a normal issue- every single human would have felt this feeling and especially pre-puberty 11 year olds. One gets over this temporary negativity about life when positive, self-reinforcing things happen to us-either of our own making or due to the support of those who love us.

Now I am beginning to question all that I understood about dhruv’s problem which I always defined as a molecular medical problem solvable with medications or at least toleratable. I read recently about morphic resonanace – a theory propounded by Dr Rupert Sheldrake, a B­­ritish e­­­­­­­volutionary biologist. This theory suggests that the human form is not just a product of genes but that there are fields of form (morph) making vibrations around a human which actually not only help in the actually formation of the human body in the womb but also are constantly around us like a collective natural memory which shapes us and our lives. Our mind too is part of this field-its not centered inside our brains but is a field of vibrations that is external and felt by the brain which acts as a physical set-top box to a receiving invisible signal. 

Trying now to collaborate this theory-which rings true to me as I know that Dr Sheldrake’s studies of telepathy and its presence in pets like dogs and cats, are substantial proof for the mind’s ability to pass thoughts at inconceivable distances, am thinking how can this theory help me understand my son’s difficulty and help him?

Lets assume that for an instant, its not the chemical imbalances and the physical defects alone that are causing the problems in my son, but an inability to be a good ‘receiver or set top box’ to the signals of knowledge, growth and positivity that lie outside his own mental hemisphere, how can I help him to remove the obstructions in his internal change and growth..how can I work for such an invisible knowledge base to be accessible to him, of which I don’t even have a proof.  I cannot change the gene defect- so much research is going on about that- perhaps a cure might come or not- no one knows. Is there another solution? Have we reduced science to a miniscule level of atoms, dna and genes and forgotten that there is more to us than just chemicals?

I learnt pranic healing and practise it mentally every day to remove whatever are the obstructions to his growth-but nothing much has come of this work and am beginning to doubt the method I have used so far.

Iam sure the analogy of set-top box to receiving signals is correct. Where am I going wrong? This cognitive-therapy method in which all children are taught is not working for my son. He learns this visually and auditorily, but only what he wants to learn. How do I normalise my son-help him to accept himself with all his inabilities and defects and not come down harshly on himself.

To start with, if the theory of morphic resonance is true- its extremely important that I start accepting and completely come to terms with the things he cannot do-not keep trying to make him do those things and in turn make him even more unhappy and frustrated. But if I did that, what if he never learns anything.  

A defective set top box cannot be the end of life. Life has to be endured and enjoyed, felt and experienced in its fullest and that can be done through so many ways.