What do I know....

When we first found out our son had a genetically inherited disorder, with a malfunctioning gene and some absent proteins causing havoc to his rational mind, we were both relieved and apprehensive. Relieved that at least we had a cause for all that we saw happening with our child- mood swings, inability to learn even basics but apprehensive that how are we going to face the long years ahead. When he was three, we were advised-‘focus only on toilet training, that is fundamental’, which we did and after about 6 years later , we achieved a toilet trained, self cleaning young kid. Meanwhile we saw that the mood swings worsened to temper tantrums, self injurious behaviour and aggression. This lead to another attempt to medicate and correct the issue and to some extent the medications have helped in the reduction of these issues.

The fundamental problems of inability to learn still remains unabated and along with that now we face the new problems of frustration with himself -an inability to make friends, fit in and feel satisfied. Such a normal issue- every single human would have felt this feeling and especially pre-puberty 11 year olds. One gets over this temporary negativity about life when positive, self-reinforcing things happen to us-either of our own making or due to the support of those who love us.

Now I am beginning to question all that I understood about dhruv’s problem which I always defined as a molecular medical problem solvable with medications or at least toleratable. I read recently about morphic resonanace – a theory propounded by Dr Rupert Sheldrake, a B­­ritish e­­­­­­­volutionary biologist. This theory suggests that the human form is not just a product of genes but that there are fields of form (morph) making vibrations around a human which actually not only help in the actually formation of the human body in the womb but also are constantly around us like a collective natural memory which shapes us and our lives. Our mind too is part of this field-its not centered inside our brains but is a field of vibrations that is external and felt by the brain which acts as a physical set-top box to a receiving invisible signal. 

Trying now to collaborate this theory-which rings true to me as I know that Dr Sheldrake’s studies of telepathy and its presence in pets like dogs and cats, are substantial proof for the mind’s ability to pass thoughts at inconceivable distances, am thinking how can this theory help me understand my son’s difficulty and help him?

Lets assume that for an instant, its not the chemical imbalances and the physical defects alone that are causing the problems in my son, but an inability to be a good ‘receiver or set top box’ to the signals of knowledge, growth and positivity that lie outside his own mental hemisphere, how can I help him to remove the obstructions in his internal change and growth..how can I work for such an invisible knowledge base to be accessible to him, of which I don’t even have a proof.  I cannot change the gene defect- so much research is going on about that- perhaps a cure might come or not- no one knows. Is there another solution? Have we reduced science to a miniscule level of atoms, dna and genes and forgotten that there is more to us than just chemicals?

I learnt pranic healing and practise it mentally every day to remove whatever are the obstructions to his growth-but nothing much has come of this work and am beginning to doubt the method I have used so far.

Iam sure the analogy of set-top box to receiving signals is correct. Where am I going wrong? This cognitive-therapy method in which all children are taught is not working for my son. He learns this visually and auditorily, but only what he wants to learn. How do I normalise my son-help him to accept himself with all his inabilities and defects and not come down harshly on himself.

To start with, if the theory of morphic resonance is true- its extremely important that I start accepting and completely come to terms with the things he cannot do-not keep trying to make him do those things and in turn make him even more unhappy and frustrated. But if I did that, what if he never learns anything.  

A defective set top box cannot be the end of life. Life has to be endured and enjoyed, felt and experienced in its fullest and that can be done through so many ways.